I wasn't raised in the church. There were a few years when I would go to church regularly but it was something I did for myself and not with my family. I can't quote scriptures of the top of my head although I wish I could because there are some really powerful words there (total understatement). Despite all this, I've always had faith. Faith that there is something much bigger than any of us out there.
A few months ago, I started having this feeling like something was missing in my life. I'm doing well in school, have a great job, love my internship, and am set with a job I can't wait to start after graduation and still, I didn't feel like I was complete. In February, I wrote a blog about one of the events I worked at an AME church and some time after that I realized what that missing piece was. It was developing my faith.
So over the last couple weeks, I have been reading a few chapters a day from the student Bible my mom gave me in high school followed by a few Psalms. I think about them a bit, write about them, and bookmark my spot so I can start again the next day.
Last night was a bit of a rough night for me. I was upset by something I knew shouldn't have affected me so I prayed. I prayed for the strength to overcome the negative feelings I had, I prayed for the knowledge of what to do, and I prayed for the guidance to help me stay on His path. I open my Bible, read a few Chapters in Genesis (currently reading the story of Jacob and Esau) and then I went to Psalm 13. How perfect the timing was. Almost too perfect.
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation
I will sing to the Lord, for He has been good to me
He can answer your prayers in some not so obvious ways, or he can lead you right to them in your daily readings. I felt lighter when I read this. Like what I had been feeling had been perfectly written in this song to Him. I continued reading Psalm 14, 15, and 16, reflected my thoughts in writing and eventually fell asleep. I woke up this morning with better understanding of the situation, or at least the strength to handle it and I couldn't have done this without my faith. So now I enjoy the last day of my Spring Break with these new words of wisdom and look forward to a new week!
I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed,
you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.
Nothing will be impossible for you.
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